Hi everyone, I’m Jessica! I’ve been a trans woman for around three years now, and I wanted to write this guide for those of you who have just figured out you are a transfeminine person to give you some ideas and resources on how to get started with transitioning. Let me start out by saying that there is no right or wrong way to transition, but I will personally share how I did it here with resources to provide a starting point:
(1) Get your name and pronouns decided and set, you need to cover your bases on who you are first. My suggestion would be to use a gender specific name (making it easier for you and others to learn to recognize it) that is close to your deadname but of course with it clearly specifying your new gender.
(2) I suggest getting your underwear and bras/forms together in order so you can do regular women’s clothing. Here are links for my recommendations:
- I suggest using TomboyX for your Bralette and forms which will allow you to appear to have boobs before HRT (and even after): https://tomboyx.com/collections/bralette and https://tomboyx.com/products/foam-bra-inserts-white
- I suggest getting bottom Panties from LeoLines on Etsy which will feminize your bottom area’s appearance without needing to tuck (follow the sizing instructions provided in the description to make sure they fit): https://www.etsy.com/shop/LeoLines
(3) Next step, hair. Growing it out and getting proper haircuts is obviously a way to do it, but a lot of us will want hair extenders instead while we grow it out. I suggest checking out the Hair Extenders here from Ulta (and if you need an actual wig due to balding, I suggest finding a local salon that specializes in wig fittings, never hurts to call and ask if the place is trans affirming before going): https://www.ulta.com/shop/tools-brushes/accessories/hair-extensions?N=27gl
(4) Makeup is the next step to get the ultimate girl vibes! I suggest you use three products to make your face appear more feminine and skip doing any more (as these three manipulate the light on your face). Lipstick, blush, and mascara. It takes a bit of practice finding the right types, practicing how you do it, and getting the color right, but it will totally be worth it! Stores like Ulta Beauty can help you find which ones match your hair and skin color best, or you can experiment with apps like YouCam Makeup to find the right ones.
(5) Get your new wardrobe together! I myself (biased because I’m my local store’s former Fitting Room Lead) suggest shopping in the women’s section at Old Navy. With our beautiful and proud Body Equality initiative in everything, you are sure to find something that fits you (and it’s so lax and accepting with the brand being so LGBTQ+ focused and inclusive no one cares what clothes you try on even pre transition, often with gender neutral Fitting Rooms). I myself suggest their Everyday Magic items that fit about anyone with their flexibility and beautiful designs!
(6) The next step, once you are ready, is to put everything into action and start living your life fully just as any other woman would (including coming out, dressing as such, using the women’s restroom, using your name and pronouns, etc). Congratulations, you have successfully socially transitioned! Now time to explore medical and legal changes you will likely want to make.
(7) Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is for most people the beginning of their medical transitions. But let me stress this, you can be trans and a woman without it! Doing HRT or not doing it makes you neither. But, if you experience Gender Dysphoria, the changes physically to your body are often medically necessary for many to help improve your quality of life. You will want to have this done under the supervision of an experienced and licensed healthcare professional, as DIY HRT can be deadly. These professionals can later refer you for surgeries if you wish to pursue them as part of your journey. Here are two sources you can obtain it from often for little to no cost:
- If a Planned Parenthood near you happens to offer HRT and you are in the United States, they will likely be your go to place. Many of them accept Medicaid and Medicare (if you qualify for the former based on your income and are not in one of the few states that restricts coverage for trans people, which I might add is illegal and I suggest reaching out to a nonprofit attorney if you have problems with insurance covering it), and often other financial assistance programs too. Enter in your location at this link to see if one near you offers HRT at this link: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center?location=Chicago&service=lgbtservice&channel=any&page=1
- If you are outside of the United States, are in a state with little to no providers, with transition bans, couldn’t find a Planned Parenthood near you, or have poor/no insurance, I suggest an international provider called GenderGP (Plume is another potential similar US option). They are a reasonably affordable virtual provider that has experienced and licensed professionals to provide HRT to anyone almost anywhere in the world (they do not take insurance, but are close to at cost rates, currently around $1k USD all in a year): https://www.gendergp.com/
- If you are in the USA and want to use GenderGP, I suggest they send your prescription to CostPlusDrugs (works even in states HRT is banned), who can mail prescriptions anywhere in the United States cheap with no insurance: https://costplusdrugs.com/
- Trouble affording, over 18, and facing Medicaid bans in the US? Take a look here: https://www.pointofpride.org/hrt-access-fund#requirements
(8) Finally, I’d like to touch on changing your legal name and gender in the United States (will not cover other countries in this guide, since each one is different). All states allow you to legally change your name by means of obtaining a court order. Here is how to update your identification documents:
- You may wish to change your legal name by petitioning your applicable local state or county court with the correct documentation. Some states also permit people to change the legal gender on their Birth Certificate and/or Driver’s Licenses through this process (and I will provide how to obtain corrected equivalent federal documentation to use instead if your state does not allow this). Be sure to obtain several Certified Copies of the court order. This page will provide you the basic information you should need in finding out the individualized process for your state: https://transequality.org/documents
- Once you obtain a Certified Copy of the Court Order for the name change (or if you only want to update your gender marker), you will want to print out, follow the instructions to, and mail in the following at the link below to update your Social Security Card and Record to correctly reflect your new legal name and/or gender (follow the instructions on 1st page, check your identified gender under “Sex” regardless if you have a court order updating that on your Birth Certificate or not, mail to address listed on 2nd page due to them being known for having less problems processing these changes, and mail it off with plenty of stamps): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cSCKDEkqFATpQnvi_0Umkk10tegw2moe/view?usp=sharing
- For identification purposes in every state and country (without needing a Driver’s License, Birth Certificate, or Photo ID for almost every identification purpose), I encourage every trans person to apply for and get both a Passport Card and Passport (and do a new application/renewal as applicable if you already have one). You are able to select and legally register yourself as any gender you choose without need for medical documentation like you can with Social Security too, here’s the State Department’s website saying how to obtain documentation with your corrected gender and legal name: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/need-passport/selecting-your-gender-marker.html and https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/have-passport/change-correct.html
- You will also want to update your name and gender as applicable once you have your documentation with your workplace, school (to either update transcripts or active enrollment records), credit bureaus, your bank, voting registration, and health insurance, among potential others. You will need to contact each individual institution to see their process for updating it.
(9) One major thing if you have already undergone male puberty before transitioning is voice training. This helps your voice sound more feminine. You can ask for referrals for this service from your HRT provider (including surgery if it fails, although that is rare). There are many YouTube videos (I used the couple on the subject Stef Sanjati made in the past myself) if you want to give it a go by yourself like I did (I suggest having friends comment on how it sounds since none of us can hear our own voices fully naturally as other perceive them). There are also apps you can download to do it with such as EvaF and Christella Voice Up.
(10) Since most of us want to shave in some way (both cis and trans women), I cannot recommend this product enough. It’s the ideal women’s electric shaver that you can reuse over and over again on every part of your body that I have used since day one: https://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-Electric-Cordless-3-Blade-Operation/dp/B09DLCMLRL/ref=sr_1_1?crid=MYU9PWB8WASO&keywords=panasonic+women%27s+shaver&qid=1686611112&sprefix=pansonic+women%27s+shave%2Caps%2C129&sr=8-1
(11) Someone mentioned nails, I love to get cheap polish at Dollar Tree to make me feel super girly! It takes practice and making sure your polish hasn’t gotten completely gooey, but once you get those down it makes doing them very economical. ;-)
You will want to befriend and socialize with women who share your interests. Having a female circle of friends and being accepted by women as one of their own is going to be something that you will come to really value as your transition advances. It surprised me, but now almost all of my close friends are female and they make my life far better.
How to deal with sexual harassment as a woman, how to you want to be femininely addressed
Adjusting yourself (genitals) in public had to be discrete
Passing gas
Learning how to sneeze delicately
Learning to deal with longer hair, makeup
Where and how to sit as a gender
How to eat smaller bites, cut with only the wrist, talking with mouth full
Purse ettiqute – no more pockets
How to walk in high heels
Social presentation with groups of women
Ftm space in urinals
Social distance opposite gender